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Note: I have not read the book “Big Little Lies.” If you have, please don’t comment with any spoilers. No buttheads allowed here at Curious Jac.

Girl, I am HOOKED on “Big Little Lies.” After the first episode, I wasn’t so sure–would I really like a television show all about catty moms and their stupid kids?

Um … YES. As I explained to my husband, motherhood is to “Big Little Lies” as zombies are to “The Walking Dead.” It’s the vehicle through which the story is told, but the whole reason it works is because of well-formed, fascinating, complicated, flawed, beautiful characters and plot development. Motherhood and zombies are the catalyst through which damn incredible stories can be told.

I want to throw my guesses into the “What the hell’s going to happen at the fundraiser?” ring as we prepare for the final epsidoe. As I mentioned in the note above, I have not read the books, so these are purely guesses. If you have also not read the book, feel free to throw down your murderer/murdered thoughts in the comments.

These theories are in no particular order of likelihood. However …

  1. In this list of theories, this is the only thing I feel relatively confident about: The twins are Amabella’s abusers. When she ID’d Ziggy in the first episode as the strangler, he stood right next to the twins. And though Celeste is so damn certain that her sons have never witnessed abuse in their house, I’m not as sure. I think they saw Perry abuse Celeste then decided to try it out on Amabella. Maybe they have a crush on her and think that’s how you say “I love you.”
  2. Sorry, this was just my absolutely favorite scene

    Once this revelation comes to light, I think it would make a Celeste kills Perry or Perry kills Celeste murder pretty easy. It seems like the victim died by being pushed, so it’s entirely possible the murder is an accident. The twins are outed as the bully, the couple gets into a tussle, one shoves the other, and bye bye.

  3. I feel like there’s a 50/50 shot of Ziggy’s dad being a fellow on the show. The obvious choice is Perry is Ziggy’s dad: He’s out of town all the time, we know he likes things rough, he has that same corporate look as Saxton Banks, and he and Jane have never met. And if this comes out, I completely buy that Jane would kill Perry. Or Jane AND Celeste would kill Perry. Or he would gain the upper hand, and Perry would kill Jane, which would be most tragic, as Ziggy is the only kid on the show with only one parent. Plus, they keep showing flashbacks to Jane running in the sand after the rape; is it possible some of those scenes are actually from the night of the fundraiser? After she kills someone?
  4. The less obvious choice? Ed is Ziggy’s dad. A friend brought up this possibility, and I first dismissed it as being totally ridiculous. He regularly calls Madeline his dream girl, and he’s just so passive. But then I thought about his critique of their sex life as being lukewarm. He and Jane have never met. And it would certainly be more surprising than Perry being the father.

    Madeline is my favorite character in the show. She -should- seem catty and unlikable, but she’s somehow so warm and sweet and hilarious and vulnerable. Not sure another actress could have pulled that off. Also, how much do I love the Elle Woods nod in her fabulous pink dress?

  5. Plus, of all my theories, my favorite one is that Ed kills Madeline, or Madeline kills Ed. I first got a creepy feeling about Ed when Abigail’s condoms fell out of her bag, like he knew what was up. Like … maybe they were for him? Has Ed abused Abigail? Is that why she wants to move out? Later in the episode, she comes down the stairs and sees Ed and her mom embracing. She doesn’t look very happy about it. We also see Ed leering at Bonnie during yoga. And if Ed finds out about Madeline’s affair, there would be plenty of fodder for a fight resulting in an accidental death.

I frankly don’t see how all this can get wrapped up in one more episode, but I am ready for a packed hour of goodness.

(And because I’m a 14-year-old when it comes to Buzzfeed quizzes, I’m Jane & I would murder Ed.)

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